


A Story Penned With Kisses

by MusicalLuna



Category: Psych
Genre: 20 Things, Advice, F/M, Kisses, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-06
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalLuna/pseuds/MusicalLuna
Summary: Abducted this idea from s_c:"Similar to the 100 Themes challenge, only along a different vein: each story deals with 20 'somethings' - such as, "20 Lies Shawn regrets telling" or "20 Reaons why Juliet won't go out with Shawn." Hopefully there will be something of everything here."with the slight alteration that it's about Shawn and Juliet.Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show.





	1. 20 First Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Abducted this idea from s_c:
> 
> "Similar to the 100 Themes challenge, only along a different vein: each story deals with 20 'somethings' - such as, "20 Lies Shawn regrets telling" or "20 Reaons why Juliet won't go out with Shawn." Hopefully there will be something of everything here."
> 
> with the slight alteration that it's about Shawn and Juliet.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show.

1) Their first kiss under the mistletoe.

Juliet had always been a good sport, so when Shawn actually managed to distract her long enough to lure her beneath the mistletoe hung in the arch in the center of the station’s main entrance, she decided that because it was Christmas, and because it was tradition, she would let him get away with it.

He grinned and leaned in and she smiled, rolling her eyes, expecting to have to push the psychic away. The kiss was quick and soft, however, and she nearly lost her balance when he pulled away before she was prepared.

He caught her though, and, with a knowing smile, said, "Merry Christmas, Jules."

 

2) Their first "official" kiss.

She recalls plenty of times when they shared not-quite kisses as Shawn tested his boundaries and explored the edges of their relationship. He’d kissed her upper lip, smiled into the corner of her mouth, and even once, when she’d turned without thinking, their mouths had actually brushed fully against one another. He’d been almost as surprised as she had and he’d frozen completely as she jerked back, his eyes wide. She’d seen his fear of going too far in that moment. He hadn’t breathed until she rolled her eyes and said exasperatedly, "Shawn, do you _mind?_ A little personal space, please."

That fear had garnered some serious points on his part. Not long after that they had gone on their first date.

And that was when it had happened. Juliet was surprised yet again by the fake psychic. He was the perfect gentleman throughout the entire night. Same mouth, same antics, but his gestures were all the epitome of respectful. He didn’t once try to kiss her and every touch was preceded by a glance questioning his limitations. He was trying, very hard, and it melted her heart.

At the end of the night, when he walked her to the door, she felt like a schoolgirl, her heart fluttering in her chest and her stomach performing flips like a circus runaway. She felt intoxicated, despite not having anything to drink that night, and she had to bite her lip to hide her grin and her nerves both. After the rest of the night, she had no idea what to expect.

They came to a stop on the porch, turning slightly to face one another and she allowed herself to smile at him. "I really enjoyed this Shawn."

He grinned back, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His shoulders seemed to loosen slightly at her words. "Me too, Jules."

Falling silent again, both gazes drifted away awkwardly. _Come on…come on,_ kiss _me_ , Juliet thought, glancing up at him through her eyelashes. _You’ve almost done it half a dozen other times_. She heard him take a deep, shaky breath and her heart picked up speed when he stepped forward, bringing himself into her personal bubble. She lifted her head to look at him and almost initiated the kiss then and there.

He was absurdly close, his breath warm as it washed over her mouth in jerky bursts. She marveled at the look in his eyes. He was terrified. It was fascinating, because she’d never seen him look anything but confident in situations like this. It was amazing seeing so clearly how much he wanted this to go right.

"Jules," he whispered, and somehow managed to move closer without their lips touching. Her hand pressed against his chest and his eyes nearly slid closed. He swallowed and she could feel his heart pounding hard against her palm.

He made no further moves, however. It wasn’t until after a long moment, as disappointment began to creep into his eyes that she realized he was giving her the lead. He wanted her to have the final say in this, their first kiss.

She smiled at him, let her fingers trail up the side of his face, and slowly, tenderly, pressed her lips to his. The reaction was instantaneous, his body practically melting against hers, his arm coming around her waist to pull her close and his other hand threading into her hair. It literally took her breath away.

"Oh my god, Jules…" he breathed when they separated and she smiled again, lightly kissing his lips once more.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes—tomorrow," he said and still sounded as though he couldn’t quite breathe.

She smiled and, as they shared one more lingering kiss, knew that this was just the first of many to come.

 

3) In front of everyone.

"Shawn," Juliet says, and there’s a subtle warning in her voice.

With a faintly dramatic sigh he concedes, "All _right_ , I’ll go."

"Thank you." Juliet tries not to smile as Karen and Lassiter both raise impressed and puzzled eyebrows at her. Shawn steps closer and the smile fades a little.

"See you tonight?" he says in a low voice.

"You know I will, Shawn," she says, trying not to get annoyed.

He smiles and she feels him discreetly squeeze her hand. "You would not believe how fantastic it is to hear you say that."

Now she’s fighting back a smile. "Shawn."

"Okay, okay, going. One more thing."

That’s when he kisses her.

 

4) From Gus.

The grin that spread across Gus’ face the minute they stepped into the office was all the encouragement Juliet needed. She grinned back and hurried across the room to throw her arms around his neck with a little squeal of delight.

He laughed and pulled back slightly. "Okay, I know I’ve seen it, but show me again. I have to see how it looks on you."

Biting her lip, Juliet pulled her hand back to show him and he dutifully inspected the glittering ring on her finger. "Yep," he finally said. "Looks like Shawn did all right this time."

"Hey!" Shawn cried.

Juliet simply beamed.

With a warm smile, Gus said, "Congratulations, Juliet." He kissed her cheek and then with a little grin said, "Welcome to the madness."

 

5) As a married couple.

Juliet half expected him to do something crazy, to sweep her into a dip, or to do something much naughtier than was appropriate in front of 200 of their closest friends and relatives, but as usual, he surprised her.

The pastor announced, "You may now kiss the bride," and Shawn smiled, his hand sliding around her waist to pull her close. His lips brushed against hers, soft and tender, reverent. She could feel the joy in the kiss and the wordless promise it carried.

It brought tears to her eyes.

 

6) Henry was the first to greet them when they walked into the reception.

He beamed at them, the lines of his face warmer than Juliet ever remembered seeing them and Shawn said, "Geez, Dad. Should I be worried about bodysnatchers?"

Juliet elbowed him expertly in the ribs, taking the air out of him momentarily and she felt a warm balloon of happiness swell inside her when Henry took her by the arms and said, "You look incredible. Radiant."

"Dad, flirting with the bride is—oof."

This time Gus’ elbow took care of her new husband’s commentary.

"You’re a good girl," Henry said, unfazed by his son’s discomfort and his tone was warm and sincere. "Congratulations, and welcome to the family." He brushed a kiss on her cheek, squeezed her hand. "Shawn is luckier than he’ll ever know."

 

7) Butterfly kiss.

The morning of their first day as man and wife, Shawn woke dreamily with Juliet’s head nestled on his shoulder, her forehead pressed to his cheek. He was contemplating how damn lucky he was when Juliet’s eyes slowly fluttered open, her lashes caressing his jaw.

"Morning, Mrs. Spencer," he murmured.

She smiled, turning her head slightly and her eyelashes brushed against his ear as she kissed his neck. "Good morning, Mr. Spencer."

It was bliss.

 

8) Goodbye kiss.

"Shawn, honey," Juliet murmured, and ran a hand through the haphazard tufts of his hair. "Come on, wake up, just for a minute?"

"Nnghgh…" he moaned. A moment later one eye cracked, his face half hidden behind his arm. "Nnghules?" he mumbled.

She smiled and stroked the curve of his shoulder lightly. "I’m going to work, honey. It’s just…it’s the first time and—"

A lazy smile curved his cheek and he rolled onto his back, pulling her closer. "God, I love you Jules."

She blushed and bit her lip. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I went."

The smile quirked into a grin and he tugged her down, drawing her into a long, warm kiss. It reassured her and sent a thrill cascading down her spine.

"Have a great day, Jules."

 

9) After the hit and run.

" _Lassiter!_ Where is she?"

The detective rose to his feet as Shawn skidded to a stop in front of him in the waiting room of the ER, chest heaving. "Where is she?" he demanded again.

"Still in surgery," Lassiter said wearily, rubbing his forehead with one hand. "Bastard drove out of the alley. He was the wheelman…"

Lassiter continued talking, but Shawn’s gaze had caught on his hands, more specifically, the pink stained cuffs, sprinkled with dark red and hands scrubbed painfully clean except for the dark material collected beneath his fingernails. Juliet’s blood. His hands had been coated in Juliet’s blood.

Shawn suddenly felt lightheaded and he dropped into one of the nearby chairs just before his knees buckled. Lassiter looked astonished and Shawn barely heard him exclaim, "Spencer!"

Everything that he normally worked to relegate to his subconscious suddenly leapt to the forefront. A woman sitting across the room from him, picking idly at her chin and flipping through a six month old copy of _Cosmo_ , the slightly harassed looking nurse behind the glass at the counter to the woman’s left, a small boy with the sniffles down at the end on this side of the room, his mother crouched in front of him with wads of tissues in her hands, murmuring quietly. The clock above the doorway had a slightly bent second hand. The plant in the corner was real and had three dying leaves, each a dull amber color. The elderly man to his left was balancing a clipboard on his lap and writing his considerable medical history with a trembling hand. Lassiter’s pants, coated in a crusting, dark substance.

"SPENCER!" Lassiter barked suddenly, hands pulling sharply at his shoulders. "Spencer, snap out of it, dammit!"

Shawn shook his head slowly, realizing that Lassiter had been calling his name for the last minute and a half and blinked at him torpidly. "What? …What?"

Lassiter crouched in front of Shawn, his expression intense. "Are you going into shock? Because if I need to I will slap you."

The psychic’s focus had already faded back to the rest of the room by the end of the sentence however. "The woman over there is cheating on her husband," he said apathetically. "She doesn’t think he knows. He does."

Lassiter’s frown only deepened. " _Spencer_. Who the hell are you talking about?"

Shawn ignored him. "The old man is dying. Cancer. Liver. He only has a few weeks."

" _Stop_ ," Lassiter said sharply. "You need to focus, Spencer."

" _Shut up_. I _am_ focusing," Shawn snapped in return and Lassiter’s eyes widened slightly at the venom in his tone. Shawn’s hands suddenly moved to his chest, pushing him back roughly. "Get away from me."

"What the—"

"Get. _Away_ ," he hissed and rose to his feet, distancing himself from Lassiter. He smelled like blood. Blood and antiseptic. He didn’t want to smell it. Didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to imagine Lassiter washing his hands over and over and over trying to get rid of the feeling of Juliet’s blood coating his hands.

His own hands began a slow, deliberate motion, rubbing up his arms and fingers scrubbing between each other, trying to rid them of the blood. It was on him. He could _feel_ it on him. Lassiter had touched him and now Juliet’s blood was on him too. "The kid with the sniffles is six. Plays tee-ball. Likes models."

" _Shawn_ ," Lassiter broke in, and he sounded vaguely concerned that the power in Shawn’s attic had been cut. The psychic kept shifting, edging toward the door, muscles primed as though he were ready to make a break for it at any moment. "You need to snap out of it. Juliet needs you."

Shawn’s eyes caught on his hands, still scrubbing furiously at one another and he froze, his breathing stalling. "Oh, god…" he whispered, and Lassiter had to grab him around the arms as his knees began to give out again. "Jules…"

"Come on, Shawn," Lassiter said, his voice quiet and intense. "You have got to pull it together. You’re not the only one who cares about her, you know."

And it was then, seeing the lines etched deeply into Lassiter’s face, the specks of blood flecked on his cheeks and the weary fear in his eyes that finally caught Shawn’s attention.

He nodded slowly, trying to push the details of the room around him back to the recesses of his mind. Juliet needed him.

Behind Lassiter, the door beneath the clock with a bent second hand opened and a brunette doctor peered out, calling, "Mr. Spencer?"

~ * * * ~

Shawn froze just inside the doorway, barely feeling Lassiter’s hand on his back. Here was the exact opposite of the waiting room, his focus narrowing so sharply that it almost gave him vertigo.

Juliet’s face was a tiny spot on the pillow, her head swathed thickly in bandages. She had a black eye, the skin in the corner of her eye socket swollen and dark purple, fading out in a crescent along her cheekbone. Her bottom lip was slightly swollen too, a dark red split down the middle of it, almost hidden by the breathing tube that had been forced down her throat to help her breathe.

Her left arm was in a sling, resting on top of the blankets, and the right was wrapped in bandages too, all the way to her fingertips. One leg was elevated slightly, encased in a stiff plaster cast, and the other, even though it was tucked beneath the blanket, looked bulky and he could imagine the bandaging wrapped generously around it. She was covered, every inch of her bruised or broken in some way.

He didn’t know what to do. There was nothing he _could_ do. He wanted to touch her, but how? How was he supposed to touch her? How was he supposed to convince himself that she was still there, still breathing and still alive? Normally his eyes could convince him of anything, but he wanted to feel Juliet’s warmth, feel her life pulsing through her veins, feel her living skin against his.

He felt weak again and he vaguely heard Lassiter say, "Don’t make me get the nurse, Spencer." He had to touch her, but how could he do so without hurting her?

And then he saw it.

He moved forward, edging around the right side of the bed and sank to his knees there, his eyes fixed on a small patch of skin, just at the crook of Juliet’s elbow, free of bandages and bruising, pale and vulnerable, exposed between the stark white gauze.

Clutching the side of the bed as though he were holding her hand, he bent his head, his lips making the barest of contact with the soft, delicate swatch of skin.

It warmed his lips, and he could feel the faint, reassuring throb of her pulse against his mouth.

 

10) When Juliet woke up.

It took a little effort to open her eyes, they were heavy with disuse, and her eyelashes were stuck together, but she managed. Everything seemed a bit hazy, and she could feel a dull ache almost everywhere that gave her the distinct impression that she was on some serious pain medication.

Her eyes caught on a brown, spiky shape to her left and she turned her head slowly, wincing as it increased the ache in her head. The shape was a tuft of spiky hair lying on the bed beside her hand, and now that she could see it properly, she noticed that it looked wilted. Shawn, she realized, and inched her hand over, extending a fingertip just enough to brush the ends of his hair.

His head shifted slightly, and then rose, his eyes meeting hers. He blinked blearily several times and she noticed the dark smudges beneath red-rimmed eyes. He looked utterly exhausted.

One of his hands appeared from beside the bed and he took her hand in his, holding it so carefully that she wasn’t even sure she could actually feel his touch.

Brushing his lips softly against each of her fingertips, his gaze remained locked with hers. He didn’t say anything.

He didn’t have to.

 

11) After the discovery of their first pregnancy.

"I just—I need you to sit down, okay, Shawn?" Juliet said, gesturing sharply at the sofa. She twisted her hands together, eyes jumping from his face to the walls to the floor, back to his face and then around again.

Shawn sat down warily as though by sitting he were exposing himself to attack. "Okay, Jules, I’m sitting. What’s going on?" he said.

"We’ve been married for two years now Shawn," she said, and began pacing in front of him, looking at everything in the room but him.

" _Yeees_ ," Shawn agreed. "We have…" He had no idea where this was going and it was starting to make him nervous.

"And you and I, we agreed on certain, um, terms," she said, her face scrunching up at the word.

Shawn raised an eyebrow. "You make it sound like a contract negotiation, Jules."

"No, Shawn, of course not, I just—"

"Will you relax? I was just kidding," he said and started to get to his feet.

"No!" Juliet said, backing away. "Stay!"

Shawn frowned, but sank back onto the couch. "Jules, will you please tell me what’s going on? You’re really starting to freak me out."

"Shawn, see, the thing is, we _agreed_ that we would give it some time before this happened. We both wanted to keep our freedom and flexibility a little while longer and we just weren’t ready… But…I went to see Dr. Thatcher, and…"

Shawn’s eyes widened comically and he shot to his feet. "Oh my god, Jules, you’re pregnant aren’t you?"

She gaped at him, her mouth opening and closing in astonishment. "I—yes, but—"

Shawn whooped loudly and leapt over the coffee table, pulling Juliet into his arms. "Jules, we’re _pregnant!_ " he crowed and caught her face between his hands, kissing her fervently.

When he finally released her a moment later, she stared bewilderedly at him and said, "You’re okay with this, Shawn?"

" _Okay_ with it? Juliet, this is the most fantastic thing quite possibly _ever_. Ecstatic doesn’t even begin to cover it," he said.

"You’re ready for this? For a baby?"

"Oh, _hell_ no," he said. "But if it was up to me, I’d _never_ be ready. I can’t believe it, Jules," he said, voice quietly thrilled. "We’re going to have a baby!"

A smile slowly spread across Juliet’s face. "Yes, we are."

 

12) Shawn’s first two a.m. baby kiss.

Despite the fact that Shawn had said he would take care of the baby after he began crying at two a.m., when he was still crying five minutes later, Juliet couldn’t help getting out of bed to go check on him.

When she peeked into the room, Shawn was murmuring quietly at Jaime as he changed his diaper. "Your mom’s going to come check on us soon if you don’t stop crying," he was saying. "Do you want me to look incompetent, huh? I’m paranoid enough about being a dad without you sabotaging my efforts."

Jaime simply continued to cry as Shawn smoothed down the fasteners on the sides of the diaper.

When that was done he gently scooped the baby into his arms, one hand behind his head and the other pulling him up from beneath the bottom, perfectly supporting him and Juliet smiled. "Come on, buddy," Shawn said softly, holding Jaime snugly against his chest, the baby’s head resting just beneath this collarbone. "Stop crying now, please? Mommy needs her sleep, and I could use the assurance that I’m not totally in over my head."

Juliet bit her lip, her eyes stinging with tears as she listened to her husband confess his deepest fears to their five-day-old son, a tiny lump curled up against his chest and still crying feebly.

He began walking slowly back and forth across the room, one hand rubbing gently along Jaime’s back. "Your mom thinks I can do this. I still haven’t put in my vote, even though I told her I was ready. Frankly, dude? I’m scared out of my freaking mind. I have no idea what I’m doing. My dad didn’t _totally_ suck at this, but I don’t want you to grow up like I did. I want to be a good dad, and I don’t know if I can."

He sighed, oblivious to the fact that Jaime’s cries were slowly quieting to soft whimpers. "I mean, how am I supposed to be a good dad if I can’t get you to fall asleep at two in the morning? Huh?" He glanced down at the now quiet little boy in his arms and Juliet could see the surprise register on his face. "Hey…" he murmured reverently. "You really asleep buddy? Are my lectures already that bad?" Juliet muffled a teary laugh with her hand.

Easing Jaime onto his back, Shawn’s face softened, a smile lighting the corners of his mouth. "Sleep tight, Jamie," he whispered and pressed a sigh of a kiss to the tiny boy’s forehead.

Bending carefully over the crib and laying Jaime down, he said softly, "Maybe there’s hope for me after all."

 

13) Teddy bear kisses.

"This is Sophie, and this is Devin. They’re boyfriend and girlfriend," Katharina announced, presenting a little white bear with a blue ribbon tied around its neck and a dark chocolate colored bear with thick curly fur.

"They look very cute together," Juliet said agreeably, reaching out to adjust the blue ribbon just slightly.

"If they’re dating, they should totally go on a date together," Shawn said.

"Will you play?" Katharina asked, excitement creeping into her voice.

Shawn grinned. "Sure thing, popsicle."

He accepted the big brown bear and Juliet accepted the little white bear with a gracious, "Thank you."

Pantomiming with the brown bear Shawn said in a gruff voice, "Why hello there, Sophie. My name is Devin. Would you like to go on a date?" Katharina giggled, bending to watch the bears interact.

"I don’t know…" Juliet replied in a soft, feminine voice. "I hardly know you."

"Pleeeeeeeease?" Shawn’s bear pled, tipping sideways endearingly.

"Well…okay. One date."

Devin bowed under Shawn’s hand and then moved forward, touching his paw to Sophie’s and the two of them took a little moonlight stroll. Juliet paused at the end of the bed and said, "Well I had a very good time."

"Me too," Shawn agreed, and his eyes were on hers rather than the bears. Both bears leaned in then and shared a kiss.

"GROSS," Katharina cried, "THAT’S NOT WHAT PEOPLE DO ON DATES!"

Shawn quirked an eyebrow, pulling back his teddy bear and said, "Well, what do they do on dates then?"

Katharina rolled her eyes dramatically (a habit she’d picked up from her father) and said, "They eat spaghetti, _duh_."

Juliet shot him a dirty look for the phrase, though she was having difficulty not grinning and he stifled his own smile. "Well then they’ll just have to have some spaghetti, won’t they?"

They restarted the date, this time with a large plate of imaginary spaghetti in between the two and they mimed going through eating the spaghetti dinner, Shawn making loud slurping noises until both Juliet and Katharina were giggling hysterically.

Shawn grinned and gave them both a kiss with the bear’s cold nose.

 

14) Through a t-shirt.

Shawn was in the midst of pulling a t-shirt over his head, the fabric stretched tight over his face when Juliet’s hands caught his arms and he suddenly felt something pressing against his mouth.

He made a disgruntled noise, but then the soft pressure against his mouth was gone and he pulled the t-shirt down, frowning. Juliet grinned at him from the doorway. "What was _that?_ "

Her grin widened. "Your morning kiss."

"What? No!" He chased after her as she disappeared through the doorway. "That’s not good enough, Jules! Sure, it was kind of sexy, but I didn’t even get what was going on and—"

"Are you saying a kiss from me isn’t good enough?" she said, turning at the top of the stairs.

Shawn grabbed her around the waist, pulling her against him and she grinned, arms draping around his neck.

"I’ll show you good enough."

 

15) From behind bars.

"Julesssss!" Shawn cried as the door shut behind him with a clang. "How was I supposed to know I wasn’t allowed to go there?"

"There were signs, Shawn," Juliet snapped, glowering at him.

Lassiter grinned at him from the other side. "Serves you right, Spencer."

"Clearly there weren’t enough signs, because I didn’t see any," he said.

"There was one hanging over the cut in the fence you used to get in!" Juliet said, arms crossing tightly over her chest. "I can’t believe you would do this!"

"It was for the case, Jules!"

"We have two teenagers, Shawn! How am I supposed to explain to them why their father is in _jail?_ " she said and then pressed both hands to her forehead. "I really can’t talk about this right now, Shawn."

Lassiter grinned gleefully at Shawn and waved as they headed out of the room. "Bye, Spencer. Have a nice night!"

"Wait! But— _Jules!_ " Shawn cried plaintively.

Juliet paused, shoulders tense, and then turned and stomped back toward him, grabbing his t-shirt through the bars and pulling him into a quick, fierce kiss. "Later, Shawn," she said severely and then stalked after Lassiter.

He smiled fondly after her and agreed, "Later."

 

16) At graduation.

"I give you the class of 2029!"

Shawn and Juliet rose together with the rest of the parents sitting in the auditorium of their son’s high school clapping as the teenagers let out a tremendous cheer, tossing their caps into the air. Shawn glanced at Juliet who’s gaze was fixed on the spot where she could just catch glimpses of their son grinning and hugging his friends delightedly and he smiled as the tears that had been gathering in her eyes for the last hour and a half finally overflowed.

He put an arm around her, pulling her close and she looked up at him, her face crumpling. "It’s really over," she said, her voice hitching.

"Nah," he said, voice warm and low, "It’s just beginning."

Brushing her tears away with his thumbs, he kissed her.

 

17) Shawn still sat at the end of the bed, a tie draped around his neck, head in his hands, when Juliet found him. She paused in the doorway, taking a moment to watch him. She hated seeing him like this. He’d been walking around as though lost for days now.

"Shawn," she said finally, voice gentle.

He jerked almost imperceptibly, turning away from her and, voice coarse, said, "Can I just have a minute?"

It hurt her to say it. "No, Shawn. You've had days now. I won't leave you alone anymore. Not even for another second."

She moved into the room, closing the door quietly behind her and Shawn turned deliberately away from her. "Jules, just—go, please—go," he said. His tone was sharp, trying to hide a tremor.

"No, Shawn," she said softly, and moved in front of him.

He sucked in a sharp breath, head turning away from her again and she caught his face in her hands.

"Jules," he said, barely getting the words out, "don't. Just—"

His gaze met hers for a split second before he was looking away again, jaw clenching tightly. His eyes were red, glassed over, and faint glistening trails meandered along his cheeks.

She swallowed and then bent slowly, thumbs tenderly stroking over his cheeks, wiping away the dampness. Carefully, tenderly, she laid a kiss on each cheek, pretending she couldn't feel him trembling.

His eyes closed, a line drawn between his eyebrows as they bunched together and she kissed each eyelid, hands soft and warm against his cheeks.

Touching her forehead to his, she closed her eyes and continued running her thumbs slowly over his cheeks. He began to shake.

It was barely noticeable at first, but slowly his shoulders slumped, trembling and then quaking and she knelt in front of him, pulling him closer and pressing her lips to his. Over and over again, she whispered, "It'll be okay," into his mouth, hands stroking up and down his back.

His own settled around her neck, tightening and loosening as he choked on each breath, muffled sounds escaping from his throat in bursts when he could no longer hold them in.

Juliet's eyes prickled hotly, and she clung to him, holding on until his breathing softened to hitched, wet sounds from deep in his throat.

"We're...going to be late for the funeral," he finally muttered, voice breaking.

"Your dad won't mind waiting one last time," she whispered into his cheek.

 

18) For newlywed daughter.

Shawn grinned as Katharina moved toward him at the end of the service. "Now what are you going to do, you’re stuck with him Doorbell."

She rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself, still awash in the glow of the service and said, "Are you _ever_ going to stop calling me those ridiculous names?"

"I may run out someday, yes."

"But not today," she said, amused.

He grinned cheekily. "No, not today."

Shaking her head Katharina leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. "I love you, Daddy," she said softly.

"I love you too, sunshine," he murmured in return and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

19) As a retired couple.

Shawn wandered into the kitchen, yawning, at ten thirty, still half asleep.

Juliet glanced up from the paper spread out on the kitchen table and smiled as he began shuffling around in the kitchen, dishes clanking as he gathered up the makings of a bowl of cereal. "Morning, honey."

He waved a spoon at her. "’orning."

A few minutes later he sat down beside her and she glanced up from the paper again, staring out the window. "This day used to seem so far away."

Shawn, only just beginning to appear on the verge of wakefulness, murmured, "Mmm. Wanna bite?"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Shawn, do you know what this means? What a milestone this is? Our children have all graduated, Jamie is _married_ , and now, now we’re _retired_. There won’t be anymore working, any obligations." She swallowed, glancing down at the paper on the table. "What are we supposed to do now?"

Chewing one last mouthful of Coco Puffs, Shawn swallowed and said, "Let’s go back to bed."

Juliet frowned. "What? Are you even listening?"

"Absolutely. You asked, ‘What are we supposed to do now?’ and I think we should go back to bed."

"Shawn, you’ve only been up for ten minutes. And that’s not what I—"

He leaned onto her chair, pressing a languid kiss to her mouth and then pulled back slightly, his head cocking to the side, a lazy grin on his face. "I’ll be in bed."

Juliet stared after him as he headed back down the hallway to their room, and slowly, she smiled.

Bed sounded good after all.

 

20) Last first kiss.

They’ve had many long years together.

There have been good days and bad days, good months and bad months, but they’ve made it through it all and their children are grown up with families of their own. Life has been good to them.

Twilight has come and he sits at her bedside, long bars soft orange light burning across the blanket over her legs, the shadows heavy in the corners of the room. His hair is as thick and wild as ever, now white instead of auburn and his face is deeply lined with over eight decades of cheeky grins. The grins have since faded away however, replaced by a great heaviness as still bright eyes watch the slight figure in the bed with all their practiced intensity.

She has always been thin and now she is little more than skin and bones, breaths coming slow and shallow. Her eyes flutter open bit by bit and gnarled, stiff fingertips brush her hair as he leans forward.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he says, putting on a smile.

She smiles, blinking lethargically and replies in a bare whisper, "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" His hand wraps around her frail fingers tenderly, thumb tracing soft strokes over the back of her hand.

"Okay." The whisper starts a coughing fit and he slides a hand behind her back, reaching for a glass of water with the other.

"Here, here," he says, the slightest edge of panic working its way into his voice as he lifts the straw to her mouth. The coughs fade away and she takes a feeble sip, breaths now little more than mere gasps. "Just breathe," he murmurs, feeling the rattle of her lungs against his palm, through the thin hospital gown. "It’ll be okay. Just breathe."

Slowly they even out and her eyes slide closed again. He tightens his grip around her hand and they open in response, just a sliver of blue beneath thin eyelashes. "I’m tired," she says softly and he swallows thickly, his brow creasing.

"I know." He squeezes her hand gently and with a deep, shaky breath, leans forward and brushes his lips against hers. She sighs and, for a moment, her breathing eases, her body relaxing. When he pulls away at last, he slides onto the bed beside her, drawing her close against his body.

They lie quietly together for a very long time, her face tucked into his chest. Finally, the darkness comes and he knows it will not be long before he follows.


	2. 20 First Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really any kisses in this chapter, but still smushy! :D  
> \--  
> 1/28/18 AN: So this was written before I learned about a lot of things like homophobia and transphobia and privilege and I know that instances of that ignorance are still present in this fic. I don't want to alter the original fic because I feel like to do so is to pretend I never held these wrong beliefs and that's definitely not true. It's something I'm still working on. So just be aware that there are things in this fic that I'm not proud of, but I'm leaving it as it was originally written.

1) Sometimes Shawn snores. To get him to stop:

> A) Poke him.  
>  B) Pinch his nose shut.  
>  C) There’s a pouch on the back of his night shirt. Get him to roll over (or just push him) and stick a tennis ball in there. He won’t sleep on his back and you won’t have to listen to him snore.  
>  D) Pummel him with your pillow.  
>  E) Elevate his head.  
>  F) Push him out of the bed.  
>  G) Get him a pack of nasal strips and put them on once he’s asleep.  
>  H) Buy him cool mint Listerine and force him to gargle. Tell him you’ll kiss him more often if his breath doesn’t stink if you have to.  
>  I) Don’t let him eat before bed.  
>  J) Kick him whenever he starts up.

Use any of these in combination or by themselves and you’ll at least find a few minutes of peace.

 

2) If Henry Spencer says:

> A) You’re wasting your life Shawn.  
>  B) You need a  _real_  mode of transportation.  
>  C)  _Your mother_ —  
>  D) You’ve never finished a damn thing in your life.  
>  E) I don’t know why I bother.  
>  F) You know what Shawn, [insert criticism here].

AND/OR if Shawn:

> A)   starts to snap.  
>  B)   is injured.   
>  C)   has had more than four drinks.   
>  D)   is already frustrated.   
>  E)    is stuck at his dad’s for any reason whatsoever.   
>  F)    fakes a smile.   
>  G)   does not respond to verbal attacks with lighthearted sarcasm and/or jokes.   
>  H)   ‘s jaw starts clenching.    
>  I)     becomes incapable of coherent sentences.

it is time to get out of there. Take Shawn if you can, but if you can't, SAVE YOURSELF.

 

3) Here: I have collected recipes that contain pineapple. Whenever you want Shawn to be extra good, use one of these recipes. Maybe two or three in a meal. It will make him agreeable.

**FRIED PINEAPPLE RINGS**

INGREDIENTS:

  * 1 large egg

  * 1/4 cup flour

  * pineapple rings




PREPARATION:

Beat egg well; mix in flour, making a thick paste. Dip pineapple in the batter; fry in hot oil. Serve these fried pineapple rings with ham, pork chops, or roast pork.

 

 **BAKED CHICKEN PINEAPPLE**  

**INGREDIENTS:**

  * 1 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed

  * salt and pepper

  * 3 to 4 pounds chicken parts or split breasts

  * 10 to 12 green onions, thinly sliced

  * 1 cup pineapple juice

  * 2 teaspoons finely chopped candied ginger

  * 4 slices pineapples, halved




**PREPARATION:**

Combine the salt, pepper, and rosemary; rub the chicken parts thoroughly. Place the chicken in a shallow baking pan and sprinkle with the chopped green onions. Mix the pineapple juice and candied ginger and pour over all. Bake, uncovered, in a 375° oven for about 45 to 55 minutes, or until chicken is done. Baste with juices several times. About 10 to 15 minutes before the chicken is done, arrange the pineapple slices on chicken pieces. Serves 4 to 6.

 

**TROPICAL PINEAPPLE PIE**

**INGREDIENTS:**

  * 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

  * 1/2 cup fresh lime juice

  * 1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained

  * 1 ripe mango, peeled, seeded, and finely chopped

  * 1 (8-ounce) container non-dairy whipped topping

  * 1 9-inch graham cracker crust

  * 1/4 cup toasted flaked coconut




**PREPARATION:**

Beat sweetened condensed milk and lime juice on medium speed for 2 minutes.   
  
Fold in pineapple, mango, and whipped topping.

 

**MINI UPSIDE-DOWN PINEAPPLE CAKES**

**INGREDIENTS:**

  * 2 (20 ounce) cans pineapple, sliced

  * 1/3 cup margarine, melted

  * 2/3 cup brown sugar, packed

  * 18 1/4 ounces yellow cake mix or pineapple cake mix

  * 1/2 cup red raspberries or maraschino cherry




**PREPARATION:**

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Drain pineapple, reserving juice. Stir together margarine and brown sugar. Evenly divide sugar mixture into 20 (3 inch) greased muffin cups. Arrange pineapple slices over sugar mixture. Prepare cake mix according to package directions, replacing water with reserved juice. Evenly pour batter into muffin cups. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes. Loosen edges and invert onto serving platter. Place raspberry or cherry in the center of pineapple ring.

(Find more enclosed.)

 

4) Don’t get between a man and his hair product.

Yes, even if he has more hair product than you do.

Yes, even if you have more hair than he does.

 

5) If Shawn gets angry (it's rare but it does happen and it's not pretty) there are only a few courses of action:

> A) Try to direct his outbursts and protect him from himself. When he loses his temper his restraint and self-preservation instincts drop to nil.  
>  B) Use Lamaze breathing or other similar relaxation techniques to avoid shooting him yourself.  
>  C) Drug him. Allergy pills in his smoothie will work wonders.  
>  D) Keep him as far away from his dad as you can possibly manage. This will keep casualties to a minimum. If it’s his dad’s fault, remove him as quickly as possible.  
>  E) Don’t let him make any decisions. He’ll find the stupidest, most reckless, most idiotic thing he can, and choose to do that.  
>  F) Don’t take anything he says too personally. Any sort of restraint he has disappears very, very quickly.

 

6) Sometimes Shawn can't help but remember the ugly things; those times, distract him.

He'll be grateful for it.

 

7) If Shawn says, "Let's go to Mexico!" Don't.

 

8) Never watch these movies with Shawn (find enclosed list). He will repeat the dialogue line for line, and it will make you want to bludgeon him to death with the remote control.

Actually, the only safe movies to watch with him are at the theatre.

New releases.

You know what? Your only safe bet? Get there opening night, first showing. Even then you’ll be lucky if he’s not quoting lines.

 

9) He may introduce you to old friends. They may terrify you at first, but give it time. Shawn is actually (freakily) good at picking his friends.

 

10) If he mentions his parents divorce, do not speak, do not move, do not breathe until he has stopped speaking for at least two full minutes. It's probably the only way you'll get anything honest about it out of him and if he actually wants to talk about it, you’ll want to listen.

 

11) Sometimes you will find make up that is not yours in your bathroom. Don't worry: Shawn’s not a cross dresser. It’s for the cases where he has to go undercover at gay bars. No, you do  _not_  want to know the full story. (Shawn threatened to do unspeakable things to me if I ever told you, anyway.)

 

12) He's hurting, but won't admit it? KFC and a movie marathon ( _Ferris Bueller_  and  _Back to the Future_  are always good bets) cure all.

 

13) Be careful what you let him see. Shawn is good at bouncing back and coping with what he needs to, but if you can, spare him having to do so.

 

14) Sometimes when he starts laughing, it's only because he can't bear to cry.

 

15) ...he REALLY likes playing practical jokes. I mean, you're probably safe from the worst.

But give as good as you get.

 

16) If he's in a situation where jokes are the worst possible thing he could be doing, try not to strangle him—it's a coping mechanism.

 

17) The 80s are sacred.

 

18) He's actually a really good artist; don't let him pass his skill off as a joke.

 

19) Shawn has a “distaste” for pointy things. Don’t ask. Just go with it.

 

20) Lean in close. I'll tell you the best secret of all.

...his ticklish spots.

Use this knowledge for evil.


End file.
